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"The crew demands a refund on the curry that scuppered them admiships, and are starting to feel the effects of 20 pints and a Nantucket Sleighride...."

After much discussion, thought, reflection and genteel debate over rum and hard-tack it was agreed not to show any of the crews images on this section of the website. The Pirates were unanimous about wishing to remain anonymous, in that time-honoured tradition established by Batman, Zorro, Dick Turpin, The James Gang and Lord Lucan.

After all, none of us looks like Johhny Depp - so we figured the only time you really need to see us in the flesh is when we meet at sea, during Lifeboat Week or in the bar! Meanwhile, here's an image (on the left) to fill the space we had originally allocated for the crew's mugs.

On a less frivolous note, many people ask what previous experience at sea they might need before they can join. Once on a time most, if not all, of a boat's crew would be experienced seafarers with good knowledge of local tides and currents. But, with the decline of the British Merchant Marine, Shipbuilding and Fishing Fleet, fewer 'professional' sailors and seafarers are available to join.

This could have presented a problem, but fortunately there are still men and women willing to volunteer to join the RNLI - either as crew members, shore helpers, fundraisers and suchlike. The crew of the Portpatrick lifeboat have a roughly equal mix of long-time sea dogs and newcomers to the sea.

Volunteers face a 12 month probationary period after joining. You will need to live locally to your station, be committed to going out on a shout 24-7-365, training and, most importantly, have a sense of humour.

Amongst the crew occupations include: Council Employee, Garage Mechanic, Merchant Navy Chief Engineer, Turnkey Assistant, Merchant Navy AB, Oilrig Worker, Bakery Owner, Barman, Handyman, Mechanic, Electrician, Hoteliers, Chef, Charterboat Skipper, Policeman, IT Designer.